Am I Good Enough???

So I was trying out my wetsuit at the gym yesterday when a middle-aged Russian lady sat down next to me in the locker room. 

'Whadt is dhis?' she says to me in an accent.

'Oh, it's a wetsuit, I'm doing a triathlon this weekend and I thought I better try it out since I've never swam in one before' I say.

[With huge eyes & a laugh} 'Um, maybe youh losse some wheighht'? 

[In a happy voice, with dignity] 'Oh, yes, I've actually lost almost 100 lbs & am working on losing more, I have been training for this for awhile' I say.

With surprised indignation and a questioning look she begins quizzing me on my diet (satisfied once I detail my 6 weekly, 90 minute+ workouts), and I kid you not everything I say she say, 'dhis not good'.  I tell her I eat very little, if any red meat and instead seek other forms of protein, when I tell her I eat a lot of nuts & seeds she tis, tisses me and says, 'too much fat'...I kindly point out that I know a serving of almonds is 18 almonds, has 160 calories and has fat, but it's the type of fat I seek in my diet (MUFA!). 

She asks if I am alone or cook for others--looking surprised when I tell her I have a husand and children.  'Ahnd do they eaht lihke youh?'....'Of course,' I tell her, 'I even have them making their own healthy pizzas on pita bread'.

'Phizza! No, no, no, no, no--dis very bhad!'  She's obviously not getting that the pizzas we makes are less than 400 calories, loaded with nutrients, veggies and healthier than 90% of the food out there, plus trick everyone into thinking they are eating something decadent.

When the exchange is over I feel deflated.  I never lost my cool, but it made me think, am I a joke?  Do most people look at me and make assumptions about me?  Am I not good enough???? 

Of course I am good enough!  This is an old belief!  What, should I lay around and give up and say, 'fuck it' (sorry mom) because one Russian lady, who knows nothing about me and chose not to listen to my story, who discounts losing all this weight, who begrudges me because I don't weight 140 lbs & have a perfectly sculpted body?!  Hell no!

It's an oldie  but goodie, this belief that 'we're not not enough/I'm not enough'....but the thing is, it only has power if you let it.  I am good enough.  YOU are good enough.  I will attract people to me that believe this and stop noticing people who don't believe this.  You will too! 

I have a favorite line in this Max Lucado book, 'You are Special'...it goes something like this, 'what they think doesn't matter...it only matters if you let it.  Why should YOU care what THEY think, the stickers only stick if you let them...the more you trust MY (God's) love, the more THEIR stickers (judgements) don't matter....'

So trust God, yourself, your higher self, your higher power....whatever it is that you believe and know you are precious and important and we need you...and whatever road you are on to be happier and healthier is exactly where you are suppose to be!

Have a great day (I know I will...it's my birthday)!

Comments

[Judi Finneran]

Holy Smokes...you stayed nicer than I would have......yikes.....And we do not ever have to justify ourselves to anyone else.