International Disasters & Falling Off the Wagon: Why it's Important to Stay True to Yourself During Trying Times

If you're like most people you are having a hard time reconciling going through your daily activities 'business as usual' while the devastation in Haiti is going on.  The images on the TV, the voices of the correspondents cracking as they fight back tears, the cries on anguish...and you feel so helpless.  Perhaps you think, 'if only I could be there...'.  As someone who has been observing this disaster and specifically my reaction to & my history of reactions to international disasters, I'd like to take a moment to use my psychology & social work degree.

Haiti, Asia's Tsunami, Katrina, 9/11...they are in our collective conscious, in our shared history, they are perhaps the things we will tell our grandchildren about and will be asked about, they are things we will never forget.  Where were we when we first heard?  When did we realize it was worse than we could have imagined?  How did we feel?  What did we do?

I remember in each of the previous disasters feeling helpless.  I actually have Disaster Relief skills/background, as well as social service management/systems management/volunteer coordiantion skills, all of which could be put to great use.  I remember being angry that I could not be there to help (especially for Katrina, when I certainly felt I could jump in the car and drive to Lousiana, indeed that had been my plan, except for the fact that I realized I was pregnant just 2 days after the hurricane hit).  So in each of these past disasters (less so for the Tsunami because I had a newborn AND I was pregnant) I used my displaced feelings of helplessness & instead of channelling them into 'living my best life,' I did what I do best: zone out, eat, wallow, glue myself to the TV.

The thing is, it's not about us.  That may sound harsh.  But it's not.  There is always going to be somoene at any moment of the day on this earth going through hell.  There is always going to be someone having the best moment ever.  When we choose to sit back and live vicariously through people's lives, either through their tragedy or their success (think--celebrity obsession, reading about celebrities, wanting to date them, meet them, be them...) we are not being true to ourselves. 

I'll say it again, we are not living our best life, we are not holding true to our purpose in life when we allow all the things that go on in the world to derail us from what we should be doing.  The earthquake happened in Haiti, not in your kitchen.  There is no reason to overeat, to not cook, to fall off the wagon (so to speak).  You can still make a healthy meal, and have gratitude that you have the ability to cook, to purchase healthy food, to have the knowledge of wellness.

And here's the thing, when you live your best life; when you are, so-to-speak self-actualized, you actually contribute to the world through your energy, through your own goodwill.  Last night, as I watched the Golden Globes for a moment, actress Meryll Streep won an award.  She talked about feeling a bit incongruent putting on her nice dress, getting her hair & make-up done, celebrating during a time of so much sadness...then she remembered her mom's attitude and said, she felt gratitude that she could do something she loved and get paid so well, so because of the celebration she is quite wealthy, which meant that she's going to 'give today and give tomorrow and give the next day and the day after that...'. 

If you haven't been living your best life, choose now to do so.  Turn the negative emotions into a positive.  You don't have to continue to eat in front of the television crying when something bad happens.  Turn it off and tune in to your life.

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