Lost 100

Plus-Size Model Crystal Renn Talks Weight Issues

HERE'S A GREAT ARTICLE ABOUT CRYSTAL RENN 'PLUS-SIZE' MODEL (I MEAN REALLY, A SIZE 12 IS NOT PLUS-SIZE, BUT WHATEVER).   WHAT DO YOU THINK???

Model Crystal Renn: From size 0 to 12

By Charlotte Triggs, PEOPLE.com

February 25, 2010 7:13 p.m. EST

Crystal Renn, who spent years suffering from an eating disorder, is speaking out.

(PEOPLE.com) -- She suffered from a crippling eating disorder to maintain the size 0 frame she needed to work in the fashion industry, but eventually found greater fame as a size 12 model. Now Crystal Renn is speaking out about the changes she thinks the fashion industry should make.

"We, as a culture, are fixated, and perhaps even in an unhealthy way, with dress size and the scale size," Renn said in a new interview with ABC's 20/20, during which she debated the question, "Is it OK to be fat?"

The model, who has also been an advocate for a wider array of sample sizes (most runway samples are a size 0 or 2), also says she's faced discrimination due to her weight.

"Fat people are absolutely discriminated against. I know this because of the type of modeling I do. ... If it wasn't, then I'd be all over the runways, every single runway, like everyone else," she said.

Instead, she's had to make her mark in a specialized market -- on her own terms. "It's about the healthy eating habits that you have, and wherever your body falls," said Renn. "Whether that is actually a 4 or an 18, [doesn't matter]."

"Having had an eating disorder,I was obsessed with numbers and percentages -- how many minutes have I been on the treadmill, how many calories have I consumed today?" said Renn. "When you start obsessing about numbers you get nowhere. It really is about, you know, finding balance and moderation within yourself and are you healthy."

For original article go to PEOPLE.com

Duplicity...fit or fat or both?

So I know I'm suppose to be inspirational and all that, but I've gotta tell you, I'm not feeling very inspirational right now.  In an attempt to make some additional money and to increase my visibility I have begun videotaping workshops, seminars and the like & converting them to the DVD for the presenters.  Sounds like a no-brainer, right?  Find workshops I'm interested in and either barter or get paid to do something I would like to be doing anyway.

What I didn't count on was how I would somehow find a way to get some screentime.  I don't like to watch myself on video, I just don't.  So imagine my surprise as I have to thrice edit last night the piece I shot 10 days ago...I'm all over it, in the shots & then, here's the killer--we go into a yoga studio & I park my butt directly in front of the camera (to be fair, the other participants left me no choice as to spots).  I got to watch myself getting into positions and my shirt riding up and what my stomach looks like when I'm not consciously sucking it in and really the view no 360 mirror could ever provide...

Am I being hard on myself?

Maybe.  But maybe not.  I have an image of myself as fit.  I believe (or at least as of yesterday afternoon) that I am a fit person.  And honestly the facts back that up--I'm in good shape: I can run for over a hour without stopping, I swim in a masters swim class, I spin, I lift weights, I do Pilates, I do these things with ease.  But sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I plagued with injuries.  Injuries that anyone can get, sure, but really excess weight exacerbates.  I fit into a size 14 (which for me was a HUGE fete, and I realize that for some people that's a nightmare, but for someone who's a size 20-24-28-32 it's a dream and it's a dream I achieved).  Except when I don't (and then I don't really talk about it).  Sometimes I feel really 'in my body' and loving my curves and my hips...except when I don't, and I fixate on a problem 'area'.  But here's the thing, what I saw yesterday didn't show a person who appears fit.

I question whose eyes I'm viewing this body, my body, with?  Sometimes I think they are rose-colored glasses...Or can they be the harsh, judgemental glasses of woman-collective (that part of us that can sum up another woman harshly and concisely and limited, but comes way-too-easily for almost all of us)?  If I jump on the bandwagon of you aren't fit unless you look this way, and your BMI is this and your jeans are a single digit then where does that leave me--am I irrelevant?  But on the other hand do I give myself 'too much worth'- and is there such a thing? 

This is what I know (or at least I thought I knew):  I have a problem with fat-advocates, I don't think they do a service to women.  Obesity is a killer, by saying weight should not be a factor in this world is misguided to say the least.  But I also have an issue with the set that tells me I don't fit in with their crowd because I'm not a size 2, or 4, or 6.  Where does that leave me...right now, quite frankly, I feel alone.  I feel like I am alone in the middle.  Am I really serving anyone anymore?  I am really even serving myself?  If I admit that I don't believe I am worthy as a size 14, have I just told an amazing group of women (and men) who follow me that are size 16+ to collectively fuck-off?  Conversely, if I don't fit the expectations of the 'Fit-is-Us' crowd, do I even belong at the table, have I essentially become a 'fat advocate'? 

How much longer can I sit at this precipice?  There's an old phrase, 'shit or get off the pot'...does this mean I need to lose the 'rest of the weight'?  Maybe it does.  I do know that the woman I saw on that video did not look as fit as I desire to be, she appeared to move more slowly getting on and off the floor than a vibrant woman should.  Damn, that woman was me.  But so is the woman in my head.  The duplicity of it all....

I've Been Sick

So I've been sick...had this stomach virus that really kicked my butt.  It wasn't so much being sick, but the next 3 days I had no energy, no appetite & haven't worked out. 

I'm hopping back on the band wagon tonight and going to get in a workout...but how frustrating because I feel like I've lost a little edge. 

It's a time like this that I remind myself that this is a life journey.  Excercise, races, tri's they are fun events and training for them should be fun.  And it is!  I love seeing how my body can do new things, reach new peaks, and feel better over time. 

I love that my hip feels better all the time & that I'm being kind and gentle to my body while still working out hard.  To me, it's the yin & the yang of things...a hard workout & gentle Pilates...a hard run & gentle swim...a hard swim & fun hike...heavy weight training & long languid stretches.  This balance makes me love my body more and more everyday.  I love my curves, I love my muscles, I love my strength & I even love my fat (but sort of that kind of love you have for your smelly great aunt--you wouldn't mind if she smelled a little less, ya know?!).

So back to my wonderful practice of enjoying moving my body in old & new & fun ways :-)

Success Story: Alanis Morisette Shares How She Recovered from Anorexia/Bulimia & Found Strength

If you're anything like (the old) me, then you may have been sort of jealous of a confession of an anorexic that they ate only melba toast, carrots & black coffee for 4-6 months at a time.  Hell, if you've ever been obese you know that the go through times when it's hard to eat less than 4000 calories a day!  To have that kind of will power is admirable, right?  Um, wrong-o.

Really, anorexia & morbid obesity are equally as bad...If you look at eating/health habits on a continuum, it may look something like this:

1. Anorexia     
2. Bulimia
3. Struggling to eat enough
4. Restrictive Diet   

      Eating to Live   

1. Overeating
2. Overweight
3. Obesity
4. Morbid Obesity
   

 

No one wants to be in the fringe.  Let's for a second think about the life of an anorexic--they have the same shame as those of us who overeat, they know they have bad eating habits, but different from us, they seemingly get lots of attention, 'good attention' told they look great, idolized by most mainstream magazines, and unless they become 'bony' most friends and family members will continue to give them positive attention for their body.  On some levels I think it may be harder to change in that climate, whereas there are so many more resources and ways to get positive attention when you are losing weight. 

Fundamentally, we all want the same thing...we want food to be something that sustains our bodies, and isn't tied to emotional issues.  To have food be a non-issue in our lives is a huge goal for both anorexics and morbidly obese people.  We are not enemies, but allies.  We can learn from one another and support one another. 

Alanis Morissette's recent interview with December's issue of Health Magazine (on newstands Nov. 24th) and CNN shows a confident, strong, self-actualized woman who has overcome her issues with food & can now concentrate on the things that are really important to her, 'integrating all the parts of me -- jock, musician, writer, poet, philosopher -- and becoming stronger as a result.' 

I applaud Ms. Morissette for sharing her story and her journey & hope more people can come to experience the success she has, regardless of where they fall on the eating spectrum!

See the CNN article below:

(CNN) -- Alanis Morissette was the definition of "fierce" when she arrived on the American music scene with one of the big break-up songs of the '90s, "You Oughta Know." But behind that tough exterior were secrets of a difficult past.

"As a teen, I was both anorexic and bulimic," Alanis Morissette recently told Health magazine for its December issue. "I was a young woman in the public eye, on the receiving end of a lot of attention, and I was trying to protect myself from men who were using their power in ways I was too young to know how to handle."

By the time Morissette was 14, she had already starred in a popular Canadian children's show, started her own record label and had a publishing contract with MCA Canada, according to her Web site.

"Disappointment, sadness and pain hit me hard, and I tried to numb those feelings through my relationship with food. For four to six months at a time, I would barely eat. I lived on a diet of Melba toast, carrots, and black coffee," she said. "I began recovering at 18, when a sweet friend confronted me."

Now that she's older, Morissette, 35, said she's no longer starving herself and has begun to look at eating as "a sort of spiritual practice." Her healthier view of food and nutrition is thanks in no small part to a book she discovered a few years ago called "Eat to Live."

"It's become my bible, pushing me to completely reorient my thinking about what to put into my body. ... Now I concentrate on eating high-nutrient foods like fruit, nuts, collards, kale and spinach. I'm obsessed with them. I even put spinach in my smoothies," the Canadian musician admitted.

The seven-time Grammy Award winner has also sworn off dairy, on a tip from Woody Harrelson, no less. "Woody Harrelson [told] me I needed to get rid of the dairy in my fridge to clear up my skin," she said.

It's had a positive effect: Morissette said her skin "looks great now."

But all of that health consciousness doesn't mean Morissette has lost appreciation for the more delectable things in life. "Don't get me wrong," she said in the interview, "I still indulge in a glass of wine or chocolate -- treats are mandatory. Without deviating from the day-to-day healthy diet once in a while, it wouldn't be sustainable for me, and that's what I wanted: an approach to eating to last my entire life."

Resolving her issues with food and body image has helped Morissette to develop clarity in other areas of her life as well.

"I'm really clear about what my life mission is now. There's no more depression or lethargy, and I feel like I've returned to the athlete I once was. I'm integrating all the parts of me -- jock, musician, writer, poet, philosopher -- and becoming stronger as a result," she said.

"I hope my effort shows any woman battling an eating disorder or poor body image that she's not alone -- support is out there -- and inspires her to discover her inner athlete. It doesn't matter what your fitness-skill level is."

Health magazine's December issue hits newsstands November 24.

Loving my 35-year-old Body!

Derartu Tulu won the NYC marathon today yesterday.  She's a 37-year-old mother of six (ages 11, 3 & 4 adopted--ages of her adopted children were not given).  She's amazing.  Paula Radcliffe began to trail behind and Tulu encouraged her to stay with the lead pack.  She looked amazing, strong, happy, relaxed.  Coming in second was a 41-year-old.  It just sort of makes me think being in your 30's is perhaps perfect, or about as close as it gets!  I don't have the unrealistic expectations or insecurities of my 20's...and I am amazed at the pinnacles my body can take me to.  I am loving seeing progress every week in my runs and my swimming & seeing what Tulu did by winning the marathon after a long break away makes me think the best is certainly yet to come!  Woohoo for women & our bodies! 

Am I Good Enough???

So I was trying out my wetsuit at the gym yesterday when a middle-aged Russian lady sat down next to me in the locker room. 

'Whadt is dhis?' she says to me in an accent.

'Oh, it's a wetsuit, I'm doing a triathlon this weekend and I thought I better try it out since I've never swam in one before' I say.

[With huge eyes & a laugh} 'Um, maybe youh losse some wheighht'? 

[In a happy voice, with dignity] 'Oh, yes, I've actually lost almost 100 lbs & am working on losing more, I have been training for this for awhile' I say.

With surprised indignation and a questioning look she begins quizzing me on my diet (satisfied once I detail my 6 weekly, 90 minute+ workouts), and I kid you not everything I say she say, 'dhis not good'.  I tell her I eat very little, if any red meat and instead seek other forms of protein, when I tell her I eat a lot of nuts & seeds she tis, tisses me and says, 'too much fat'...I kindly point out that I know a serving of almonds is 18 almonds, has 160 calories and has fat, but it's the type of fat I seek in my diet (MUFA!). 

She asks if I am alone or cook for others--looking surprised when I tell her I have a husand and children.  'Ahnd do they eaht lihke youh?'....'Of course,' I tell her, 'I even have them making their own healthy pizzas on pita bread'.

'Phizza! No, no, no, no, no--dis very bhad!'  She's obviously not getting that the pizzas we makes are less than 400 calories, loaded with nutrients, veggies and healthier than 90% of the food out there, plus trick everyone into thinking they are eating something decadent.

When the exchange is over I feel deflated.  I never lost my cool, but it made me think, am I a joke?  Do most people look at me and make assumptions about me?  Am I not good enough???? 

Of course I am good enough!  This is an old belief!  What, should I lay around and give up and say, 'fuck it' (sorry mom) because one Russian lady, who knows nothing about me and chose not to listen to my story, who discounts losing all this weight, who begrudges me because I don't weight 140 lbs & have a perfectly sculpted body?!  Hell no!

It's an oldie  but goodie, this belief that 'we're not not enough/I'm not enough'....but the thing is, it only has power if you let it.  I am good enough.  YOU are good enough.  I will attract people to me that believe this and stop noticing people who don't believe this.  You will too! 

I have a favorite line in this Max Lucado book, 'You are Special'...it goes something like this, 'what they think doesn't matter...it only matters if you let it.  Why should YOU care what THEY think, the stickers only stick if you let them...the more you trust MY (God's) love, the more THEIR stickers (judgements) don't matter....'

So trust God, yourself, your higher self, your higher power....whatever it is that you believe and know you are precious and important and we need you...and whatever road you are on to be happier and healthier is exactly where you are suppose to be!

Have a great day (I know I will...it's my birthday)!

Lizzie Miller Show's that a Little bit o' Tummy Can be Beautiful

I LOVE this pic of 'plus-size' (and I use that term loosely because a woman who is a size 12 is not plus-sized) model Lizzie Miller, 20. It appeared in Glamour Magazine and has become a hit amongst women (and men). Even women size 4, 6, & 8 have been saying, 'Thank you!' because they admit their bodies have sections that aren't perfect and Lizzie looking so confident and gorgeous makes them feel more beautiful too.

I have that roll too, my tummy isn't perfect, but I have to tell you I felt a lot sexier being naked after I saw this picture!

What do you think? Are you a Lizzie Miller fan too?

MANHATTAN'S DIRTY little SECRET

I've lost a lot of weight.  We're talking size 24/26 to a size 14!  At 5'10" after having 2 babies in 14 months (did I mention both were emergency c-sections) that's not too shabby.  So here I am 6 months post-partum and celebrating that I no longer am a slave to whatever Lane Bryant constitutes as "high fashion". 

I've saved some money and am ready to splurge on something fabulous.  I'm walking, head held high, full of confidence into a chic shop in Manhattan's Time Warner Center.  I check out some cute tops, casually look at prices, find a couple things I would love to try on.  PROBLEM.  I can't seem to find any XL.  Ok, let's switch gears, how about size 14.  Um, no.  Ok, let's expand the search--nadda.  Nothing in the store is over a size 10--a size TEN!  What?! 

Okay, maybe it's a fluke, I try another store, then another, I even go to J Crew--they carry size 12--wow!  But not 14, boo.  One last store, same thing...I look around and approach the size-2 19-year-old saleswoman who's been making eyes with my 2 babies in their funky double-stroller (It's called a Phil & Ted's E-3 sport double).  I sheepishly ask, and ever-so-sweetly, with batting eye lashes, she gives me the closed-lip, head to one side feigned smile..."oh no, none of our Manhattan stores carry a size 14" and then says "bye-bye" to my girls and turns on a cheap heal after dropping Manhattan's Dirty little Secret ever so sweetly on me. 

So--I ask, when did a size 14 get ostracized from misses fashion & what are your thoughts?

NIA VARDALOS: 'WHAT'S THE BIG FAT DEAL' Finally a Celeb Who Gets Real About Body Image!

Here's a blog post Nia Vardalos wrote for AC360 on CNN.  It is perhaps one of the best things I've ever read about body image and health.  I think I'm in love with Nia Vardalos!  She rocks--I love her confidence in herself, her sense of humor and that she doesn't think it's a big deal that she lost weight.  People magazine bikini shoot--no!  It was about her health, not how she felt in her skin.  I suspect Ms. Vardalos felt just as sexy before as she does now.  Her view of her body before is refeshing and sadly unexpected in a world where the Teenage Witch uses cruel terms to describe her post-partum fuller figure and a Ghost Whisperer yells and screams about how dare the media criticize her size 2 figure, only to drop 20 lbs and pay for do a major publicity tour about her 'new fabulous figure' and how much better she feels about her body.  Nia Vardalos never apologized for her body before and she isn't trashing it now~and to me that makes her a hero of sorts!  Way to go girlfriend~if I'm ever lucky enough to meet you I'm totally buying you a diet coke drink!!!

Editor’s Note: Nia Vardalos is the star and writer of the 2002 smash hit, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” Her new film, “My Life in Ruins,” is in theaters now.

Actress Nia Vardalos arrives at the premiere of 'My Life in Ruins' on May 29, 2009 in Los Angeles, California.

Nia Vardalos
Actress/Writer/Director

It’s just weight. Just 40 pounds of fat now gone from my body, but wow, it’s pretty much all I get asked about. In the last year, I got to star in a movie, wrote and directed my next one, and adopted a three year old from American Foster Care. But guess what I’m asked…how did I lose the weight?

I am embarrassed to be in the position of answering questions about my body again. On the publicity tour of ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ I was asked over and over again, if, as the writer, I felt it was a fair depiction of real life to have someone of my er, below average looks, hook up with hottie John Corbett.

It’s been years, and I have sat through many a movie like Sideways, where nobody blinks an eye when Paul Giamatti gets together with gorgeous Virginia Madsen. And, then ‘Knocked Up’….well, the visual of Seth Rogan on top of Katherine Heigl made me put the popcorn down and reach for my purse. Not because I was grossed out but because I knew the film was about to stop and Ashton Kutcher would now jump out and go “aha, you’ve been punked, that would never happen.” I waited. But no Ashton. The film went on. And many a reviewer, who probably look like sweet Seth (yes even the women) gave it a thumbs up.

Yes, there’s a double standard for women. Whatever. Yawn, we all know it, perpetuate it – we make it worse every time we buy a magazine showing “Stars with Cellulite.” And women, we do buy those magazines. Yes, we do. No, not just at the airport – you have a subscription, admit it. So do I.

So, it’s our fault. Let’s accept it and move on. Socially, the issue of men’s weight is simply not a big deal. Let’s face it: Russell Crowe is fat and no one ever talks about it. Alec Baldwin just orders his suits a size bigger and we continue to swoon.

So, what exactly is up with my weight loss? I get hit with this awkward question daily and have answered it in press interviews, at the grocery store, at the newspaper stand. Why? Because I see their anxious, open faces needing the secret, the new pill, the cure, anything. Just please share the secret. So I hesitantly answer and am always met with the same response: the glaze-eye slack-jawed face.

Because they don’t want to hear the truth: I had a blood sugar problem so my Doctor ordered me to lose weight, it was really hard but I did it through diet, exercise and it took a year.

This is when the boredom sets in on the querying person. I might as well just shove an Ambien up their nostril. The gleam in their eye fades and they get sleepy.

No one wants to hear the facts about weight loss. It’s simple. Take that bag of Doritos and throw it as far as you can. Now chase after it. Pick it up, do it again.

Or don’t. You don’t have to lose weight, unless like me, it becomes an issue of health. I thought I was attractive when I shot ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding.’ Studio executives and movie reviewers let me know I had a confidence in my looks that was not shared by them. In other words: they labeled me with words like, overweight, unattractive, unappealing. Hey, just say fat. I love the word fat. I used it in the title. It’s actually not a naughty word. We give it a power it actually doesn’t have. So, you’re fat. Big deal.

If now, I have a sudden validity because I look different on the red carpet, check out my Before pics on my Twitter. (@NiaVardalos) I am showing what happens before Team Miracle comes over in the Hazmat suits and works on me for a few hours. Anyone can look like they make me look. That’s why most malls offer a Glamour Shots booth.

I am just telling you the truth.

Here’s another fact: A studio executive recently asked me to change a male lead in a script to female because “women don’t go to movies.” He went on to explain some studios were no longer making female-lead movies because women don’t go to them.

Wow. I pointed out ‘Sex And The City,’ ‘Mamma Mia,’ and  ‘Obsessed,’ and he called them “flukes.”

He shrugged and explained he was just telling me the truth.

I wonder, is this the truth? Do we support female films? My film is out now and Sandra Bullock’s film ‘The Proposal’ opens soon. (Gasp, is she talking about a rival studio’s movie?) Yeah, I am. See it. See us both (just see us first, we’re low budget.)

So, I ask, can we tell that studio executive the truth? That women do go to the movies. Can we speak up with our wallets? Or did you doze off?

Nia Vardalos blogs for CNN

Meghan McCain: 'Kiss My Fat Ass!'

Regardless of your politics, doesn't it just infuriate you when people turn to weight to further their argument by belittling someone else? I salute Meghan McCain for standing up for herself! And by the way, I'm fairly certain that Meghan McCain is NOT plus-sized...what would they say about my size 14 figure God forbid!

For too long women just quietly went away when attacked like this...I'm proud when women like Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Tyra Banks & Meghan McCain stand up and fight back. I just hope Ms. McCain doesn't go on a starvation diet and premier a new anorexic-esque figure.

Sometimes these things are a good catalyst to look at your lifestyle and assess if you are as healthy as you want to be. Who's to say it's wrong if you are slightly more curvy than Vogue says you should be? What if you're extraordinarily fit, have admirable numbers (ie. cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.), eat a well-balanced, healthy diet, but are not quite within the 'appropriate' weight range? Does this mean you must go on a diet? I think that answer is very individual...personally, I'm not happy right now at a size 14 (I'm much happier than I was when I was a size 24!). Do I think I must be a size 6 or 8? No. I would like to be able to run 6 miles without risking injury...I would like to be able to wear a wider range of clothing options than I currently do. And guess what, like every woman, I reserve the right to change my mind!