Lost 100

DON'T FOCUS ON THE PAIN...BY FOCUSING ON THE PAIN

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about where we all come from.  No, not the stork/ mommy & daddy/ hospital theories.  But rather, why we behave in certain ways, why we react in certain ways...really what perspective we are coming from. 

After taking a class, doing some reading, journaling, & talking I've come to understand that we all have things that have happened in our lives.  This is not earth-shattering, obviously.  However, coming to understand my own issues/ pain bodies (yes, that's Eckhart Tolle speaking), etc. has helped me to see that everyone around me is reacting from their own issues to things (their own stuff/issues/pain bodies).

So, great Jen...but what the hell does this have to do with working out/eating right/losing weight.

Well, my fine feathered friends, I had an epiphany of sorts today.

It came to me during spinning class (where else, right?  that is of course where all epiphanies start...haha).  So, if you have never taken a spinning class, saying it's intense/a hard workout is pretty much an understatment.  So as I was focusing through the tough parts I found this little spot on the floor and focused on that, while working hard.  Furthermore, I imagined that spot was a physical representation of the pain (the pain from my life issues.  As I did this I noticed myself working harder.  I also noticed that I wanted to get rid of the pain, I wanted to make the pain better, and by having a physical outlet for that pain I felt better mentally and spiritually.  At the end of my class my issues/stuff/pain was lessened. 

It got me thinking (as I immediately headed a Zumba class--which rocked by the way) how can I share this information with others?  What other ideas can I share.  I thought of a few girlfriends of mine who have shared a few of their own issues/pains with me & also things I hear people talking about on TV, in books, in the news.  Some common themes for issues/pain emerged.  Things like:  I want to be loved...I'm afraid of being abandoned...I'm afraid of not having money...I'm afraid of appearing incompetent...etc.  These issues can manifest themselves in many, many ways. 

For now though, I'll choose one issue.  As I was walking to class one of the big-screen TV's had on one of those Divorce Court shows, so we'll use a common marital issue as our example.  Infidelity.  If you use my example of focusing on the pain, you would not be saying...'look what that asshole did to me....i want to kill that whore...i imagine i'm stomping on her face....i imagine i'm kicking him in the groin'.  No!  This is not helpful.  You have to get to the raw emotion, the actual pain.  Simply, 'something in my life happened that I am experiencing pain from, it sucks, I hate the pain, I want the pain to go away, I imagine as I punch, kick, jump, pedal, lift (etc) that this pain is slowly easing away...the physical pain I am feeling is simply a manifestation fo the mental/spiritual pain I am feeling in my life...the more I feel the pain of the exercise, the less I feel the pain of my issue.

Does this make any semblance of sense to you?  Do you agree?  Disagree?

I also have found this to work with food.  Let me re-phrase that--I postulize that many people with extra weight have utilized food to push the emotions down, to not feel them/deal with them, to essentially numb themselves.  Again, I'm certainly not the first person that has ever said this.  You can actually tell yourself that the hunger you think you feel is simply a phsyical manifestation of the mental/spiritual pain and it's amazing how much control you will immediately take for the food that goes in your mouth.  Try it...it works!!!

CNN'S FIT NATION SUMMIT: SEE THE ENTIRE VIDEO HERE

Here is the complete video of the CNN Fit Nation Summit I had the distinct pleasure to attend 2 weeks ago today. It was awesome! The video is long (31 minutes), but I thought you may want to see it...so here it is!

HOW MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD HAS CHANGED SINCE HAVING KIDS

Here's an article I just wrote for a local magazine...enjoy!

Food can be so central to our lives. Think about it. Whether we’re at a wedding or a wake we are fed. Food can be celebratory, life sustaining, can drown our sorrows, nourish our joy, mark the beginning of a relationship or the end, and even provide a livelihood for some. As a society we have formed an emotional bond with food that at times borders on unhealthy. Some people see food clearly for what it is, a source of nourishment, like a car having its tank filled with gasoline. At times I know I have been envious of people who seem to harbor no emotional connection with the act of eating. But let’s be real, if we really treated food that way, there would be no ‘would you like to have dinner with me’ first dates, or family dinners, or Thanksgivings, or baby showers, etc.

 
When I reflect on my own relationship with food I can see a long history of emotional eating and eating to celebrate or mourn major event in my life (like my wedding, high school graduation, team basketball win/loss, getting my drivers license, buying a new pair of shoes, taking a shower, loading the dishwasher…).

I probably always ate WAY too much. But I was lucky; I was 3-sport high school athlete and a college basketball player. Consuming 5 slices of pizza and 1 liter of soda was perfectly normal and my weight stayed pretty consistent.  At 5'10" I was a size 10/12, muscular, strong and happy. 

All that changed when I stopped playing sports and got married. Cooking exactly 4 dishes (all ‘favorite’ dishes from home and all filled with 1000’s of calories and dozen of grams of fat), and going out to eat 3 nights a week didn’t help. When I stopped burning the extra 1000 calories a day my waistline grew and grew fast. I added between 10 and 15 lbs a year, slowly replacing the 12 with 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, and finally plateauing at a 24/26.

   

I lied to myself. I would look in the mirror naked and say, ‘oh I have a very proportional figure’ (somewhat true, but it was still morbidly obese). I would justify that society was just obsessed with super skinny girls and that truly evolved people did not care what I weighed. Worse I even convinced myself I wasn’t eating that much. But I was, it was the pint of ice cream here, the big popcorn with butter at the movies there. I could justify going out to dinner or lunch as a time or over-indulge because it was ‘a special occasion’. But it wasn’t. Never have I ordered a healthy option at dinner and felt I had less fun than if I had had the 20 oz. steak or lobster with 5 Tbsp of butter. Yet fried food, dessert, appetizers, wine, mixed drinks, ribs, the breadbasket, eating the entire plate of food at the restaurant was my norm.

I did manage to lose weight by working out a lot. And I felt great, but was still quite overweight. Then I had Sarah and everything changed. Sarah was born 6 weeks premature. Our placenta had ruptured, we both almost died. My doctor told me my body was toxic. I felt such shame for putting this innocent little baby into a position where she was starting out behind in life. I desperately wanted to make things right. The best thing I could do for my preemie was to breastfeed her (liquid gold the NICU nurses would say). As I tried to pump as much milk for her as I could each day I contemplated what would provide the healthiest milk for my little baby. When I wanted to reach for French fries I would think to myself, ‘do I want my baby eating this crap?’ Slowly I began to incorporate more healthy ways of eating into my diet.
My preemie baby Sarah came home and got healthier and the next step in my transformation began when it was time to give solid foods. I began thinking, ’how can I justify eating this in front of Sarah?’ knowing I would be her most important model in life of how to eat appropriately.

While I had a decent knowledge of nutrition I felt like I needed more tools in my arsenal. I bought myself Anabel Karmel’s book, ‘First Meals’; the book showed me how to make my own fresh baby food. & it also reminded me of the importance of giving our children and ourselves ‘real food’/ whole foods. For instance, how many times had I reached for fake lower-cal spreads instead of real butter.
I joined a CSA (community supported agriculture program) and began picking up vegetables every week (many of which, I had never heard of before, yet alone prepared!), the farm was organic, which wasn’t something I sought out, it just happen to be the only CSA available in our neighborhood in Jackson Heights, Queens. After witnessing the healthy families and interacting with them each week through volunteering and socializing I realized that organic food was something I should take more seriously.
I began to read about and learn about the benefits of eating organic food; while we are not a fully organic family, I would never have taken the time in the past to find mostly organic produce, and the ‘dirty dozen’ takes on a whole new meaning now! Slowly and surely I felt like I was feeding my family and myself in a more healthy way, eating more whole foods, eating more fresh vegetables, eating less preservatives, less junk food, etc. What was funny was that when we did have cake, or ice cream I enjoyed it so much more.
We had another baby, and again, I was nursing and was reminded that everything I put in my body transferred to the baby. Does little Zoe need potato chips and Pepsi and a hot dog while I watch this baseball game? Does Zoe need extra cheese on the pizza? Has Zoe eaten enough vegetables today?
Then another epiphany moment hit me. Why could I do these things for my baby, but not for me? Certainly no one else was going to put me first. I am worth taking care of, I am worth being healthy for. Moreover, I kept having this overwhelming feeling of responsibility to these 2 little girls. Never in my life had I felt like it was ‘do or die’. I had watched family members and acquaintances get sick and die from preventable diseases….I could not let this happen to me. Sure, my hubby could always get a new wife; but as a daughter myself, I knew and know that no one could ever replace me for my daughters. I had a higher calling now, it was not about being skinny again, it was about being healthy again…..
Do I have it all together—hell no! I make all kinds of mistakes. I probably over think things (like when we go out of town and my mother-in-law comes to stay with the girls and I prepare a full menu, complete with breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, appropriate eating times and a list of ‘off limits’ foods), and conversely sometimes I under think things (like when it’s 3PM and we’re at the zoo and the kids are crying and I have no idea why—duh! They’re hungry! Did mommy bring any food, no. Is the food at the zoo healthy, NO!). I overeat and I eat the wrong things still. But overall, I feel like I have a healthier approach to food and there is no race, no finish line. I will live to eat another day, and I am fully capable of making decisions that are right for me (and my family) and I feel good about that!

WHAT'S YOUR 'REAL AGE'?

Wouldn't it be great if you could find out your 'Biological Age' like they did last night on The Biggest Loser Couples?

If you recall, the two 26 year old's Amy C. (purple team) & Michelle (pink team) were 47 and 41 respectively. 'Little' Tom (grey team), 23, had the body of a 49 year old--yikes! Vicky (brown team), 37, had the body of a 48 year old and wondered what age her precious 4 year old was. Finally Jerry (yellow team) the 51 year old was told his cardiovascular strength was weaker than a 95 year olds and his overall 'biological age' was 76. If I have one gripe it would be I wish they had listed the biological age for all of the contestants (that and their height!--216 pounds on a woman could be morbidly obese, obese or simply overweight...). Okay and my third complaint--what size are these folks?

Anyway, this post is about YOUR Real Age. If all that Biological Age stuff sounded familiar, it should. From the same people who brought you, 'You: The Owners Manual' and 'You on a Diet' (Doctors Oz & Roizen), is the Real Age Challenge.

The Real Age Challenge is a survey you take on-line that takes into account the good and not-so-good things you do for your body. It's a complicated little scheme...and when you're finished you know what age your body is!

For instance, I'm 34 (well, I'm 2 weeks shy of 34...), but my real age is 30.8 (the same age as my little sis! woo-hoo!)! I have taken 3.2 years off age through the good things I do (eating a healthy diet, exercising, flossing, wearing my seat belt, going to the doctor, etc.). And what's great is the website gave me a tailored plan to take even more years off (theoretically I CAN be 29 forever!).

Go...go now...do not delay--inquiring minds want to know, I want to know...What's YOUR Real Age?

LIFE DOESN'T START 12 LBS FROM NOW, EXCEPT WHEN IT DOES...

Jessica Weiner, an acclaimed author, self-esteem expert, and fabulous plus-size woman wrote a GREAT book entitled, "Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds From Now".  The message of the book is outstanding and wonderful and I hope women all over embrace it...here's my only issue:  One day I was at the Grand Canyon and my idea of fun was riding a donkey down into the canyon.  PROBLEM--I weighed 12 lbs too much!  Major bummer.  I wasn't discriminated against because I was "fat"--the thing is the donkeys can only hold so much weight.  So, I started thinking, there may be times when embracing our bodies and being totally comfortable with our muffin tops, chub-rub, and the like could hold us back from fully enjoying life...