Lost 100

Am I a FAIR WEATHER FRIEND?

So, as you know, I have been training for a 1/2 Marathon at the end of the month--yeah!  Here's something I've noticed in my training...I can pretty much think up any excuse to not run if it's too rainy, too hot, too anything...

Am I, gasp, a 'fair weather friend' to running?  Can one call themselves an honest-to-God runner if they are only running when the conditions are good?  I mean, what if I wake up the morning of Sunday, April 25th & there's a torrential downpour?  Would I still run the race?  If I didn't run the race, am I a complete douchebag? 

This is the nonsense that goes through my mind as I contemplate the lessons and answers my running is bringing me.

How about you?  Do you run in all conditions? 

I did it! 15k/ 9.3 miles!!!

I really enjoyed the run today- for the first timei felt like I understood that there wasn't any competition- it was about the journey, my experience, and it was literally 'my race'.

I also realized if I could run 9.3 miles the 1/2 marathon in 4 weeks is definitely achievable!

I feel great- never got winded, rather my legs, hips & glutes are sore- nothing some yoga & pilates this week won't stretch out.

I am really happy- I remember less than 4 years ago I couldn't even run 1/4 of a mile.

If I can do it- so can you!!!!!

Feeling & looking fit!

Here's the latest picture of me--down 85 lbs! My bodyfat % is actually lower than it was when I weighed less! Must be all those muscles from swimming, running, biking, & lifting!

I feel great & am so excited as I enjoy the training journey toward the 1/2 marathon on April 25th!

A little nervous about the 9 inches of snow predicted for this weekend as I am running 4 mile race in Central Park on Sunday--check back, that should prove to be an interesting update for sure!

Longest Run in 2 Years!!!

Yeah!  So, we set out today to run a 10K today (6.2 miles) and along the way I had to pee.  Unfortunately I was right in the middle of my run...hmm...what to do?  Well fortunately I kept my wits and my iphone with me.  Facebook app.  Kristen, my friend, who I've never actually met in person (but we have kids the same age and chat all the time on Facebook, on BigTent--we're in a mommy group together, etc), lived up the hill.  Phone number--yes.  At this point I haven't even stopped running--another reason why I love my iphone (this is completely unsolicited praise, they don't pay me folks, but if they want to, I would happily accept!).  I call super-mom Kristen who has just put out her gourmet carved pumpkins (can I patent that?)...she's home.  I can come use her bathroom.  I feel like a complete ass! 

So, when I say she lives on top of a hill, I mean a steep hill.  A STEEP hill, I'm not kidding.  It's like a San Francisco-esque hill, and then you get to the top....and it keeps going up!  We ran a little of it, but mostly kept our heartrate souring with just walking up this steep hill!  When we left sweet-Kristen's house we actually ran through a rock quarry and added a bit of mileage! 

On the way back to our car our legs felt like jello.  I hadn't run 7 miles since the marathon 2 years ago.  No, I didn't do the marathon.  But I did watch it on TV and went to the gym and ran 7 1/2 miles without stopping on the treadmill as I watched.  To this day I hold that day in history up as my pinacle of fitness.  So perhaps I've turned a corner?  Jello legs and all?!  Oh, also my arms (not the bi-cep, not the tri-cep, but the part right in between, which is probably technically the bi-cep) are feeling VERY sore these days--all that swimming!  So...all in all it's been a successful week in Jennifer-fitness-land.  Tired, sore, but not injured, perfect!  Now, if only it weren't Halloween, & we didn't have a houseful of candy and the mother-in-law hadn't just made a sh!tload of unhealthy, fat-ladened, food.  I know, I know, I can make a veggie burger and not eat the candy....and I will.  Sometimes I just like to bitch. 

Anyway...Happy Halloween & I hope y'all have productive, energizing workouts this weekend!

Taking off the Water Wings and Jumping into the Master's Swim Program

So, the first thing that was apparent to me when I walked into the pool area for my first session as a *master swimmer* was that I had somehow not gotten the memo about the uniform.  No, my multicolored red/purple/pink, high-neck so the girls don't pop out speedo, the one that all the old ladies in the locker room and pool deck just love (and yes, it does make me bitter when I get compliments about my suit from blue-haired ladies)...no my comfy, practical suit does not fit in the uniform scheme.  Which simply means I stand out like a sore thumb even more.  Just in case you were wondering, the apparent standard uniform for such an endeavor is a black TYR suit.  See pic on left.

Second, as I walked up upon the group I got the stink eye.  Yes, I really did.  And it caught me by surprise.  None of this Kumbaya bullshit that one gets at the end of a triathlon.  No, I represented these ladies worst nightmare--not only was I 'fat', but I may take up some of their precious time with the coach.  I'm sure they were wondering, would I be needy?  Would I get in their way?  Would I drown and have to be give mouth-to-mouth?  Don't worry, I float!

Third, first conversation I hear as I come upon the group [& this is not tongue-in-cheek in the least, I swear]:  "ya, yeserday I ran 19 miles & today I ran a fast 11."  A fast 11, huh.  Dude, I don't even think I've driven a fast 11!  In fact, if I ran 11 miles I would call every single person in my address book and casually mention I was feeling good, but a bit tired because I had just run 11 miles.  It would be on my Facebook page for a week.  I would tweet it.  I would post a newsletter to my college.  This would not be the fodder for a casual conversation at the pool.

Anyway, class started & it was hard.  I learned some things:

• I need to keep my head in the water more, my head is at an angle not really completely in the water.
• Because I'm pulling my head up too much my body is not flat in the water, but my leg appear to hang, which creates drag.  A good cure for this is to look at my feet.  Funny:  I can barely see my feet when I'm out of the water, much less in the water!!!
• When you swim your center of gravity is in your chest, not your hips...as you swim your body should rotate...if a stick is attached to the bottom of the pool, your body should rotate as you stroke so that the stick is under one armpit and then under the other.  Your hips rotate even further. 
• As soon as you breath, when you put your face back in the water you begin exhaling, and you exhale the entire time until you take your next breath.  At no time should you be holding your breath or should you be exhaling once your head is out of the water.

Our workout was solid & I was placed into a group with 2 other women.  They were stronger swimmers than I, but we made it work and I never got passed!

• 200M warmup
• drill, 2 stroke, 3x50M
• Main set:  3x50M (1:30)
• 3x100M (3:00)
• 2x150M (4:30)
• 2x100M (3:00)
• 3x 50M  (1:30)
• drill, drag & catch, 6x50M
• cool down, 100M
• Total M:1850

Now, I probably did about 6 lengths less than this between instruction and corrections.  But I still swam more than I ever have!!!  It was hard, but having other people there made it easier & of course having a coach to critique you helps a lot!  I'm planning another swim workout on Friday of this week, I'm going to try and swim the same routine.

I'll be back to 'The Master's Swim Program' (and yes, in my head I say that with a deep voice like 'masters of the universe!') next week and try to resist the urge to buy the uniform...but I may not be able to help myself...

My First Triathlon, part 1

Well, by now you may have heard that I did a triathlon this past weekend in celebration of my 35th birthday!

Well, here's the stuff you didn't know:

• Doing a triathlon is hard.  Harder than I expected.  
• I am not a good swimmer.  Um, swimming laps in the warm pool at the Y & the gym does not translate to swimming in the open water in the OCEAN and swallowing salt water, and getting kicked, and having a super hot guy in a kayak have to stay next to you the entire time because he was afraid you would drown, and then not being able to do freestyle because everytime you do water goes up your nose & down your throat, so instead you swim breast stroke and end up 50+ yards behind pretty much everyone.  Yes, and did I mention it was so foggy you couldn't see the next buoy, let alone all 5 buoys.  Finally, oceans have sharks...did you know I hate sharks?  Well, I do. 
• I have a mountain bike, not a road bike.  Okay.  What does that mean?  Apparently road bikes travel 33% faster than mountain bikes when applying the same exertion.  Crap.  So when I got out of the water and was the second to last person to get on the bike I then further got behind because I was going at least 33% faster than my potential potential (or something like that).
• Biking in a triathlon is not anything like spinning, even if the spinning instructor thinks it is.
• When you finish biking your legs feel like jello.  No, this is not some cutesy catchphrase, the legs wobble and trying to run your bike in is not an easy feat.
• It doesn't get any better once you drop your bike off.  You don't suddenly feel lighter, or grow wings, or hear Kanye West sing you 'Stronger'.  No, you feel like your legs want to collapse and eat bon-bons.  No, it doesn't help to tell your legs that they don't have a mouth and they can't eat bon-bons even if they wanted to.
• Feigning a hamstring injury does not help.  No one buys your bullshit. 
• When you want to quit an angel suddenly appears in front of you, telling you how she had to walk/run in intervals just to make it to the water stop (aka-the turn around point)...then she caught her breath and feels better--she assures you that you can do this. 
• Some dude with long hair shows up on a bike and tells you that your husband and kids are worried about you and he's checking to make sure you're okay.  You are, you assure him.  Then you plead with him to NOT announce you when you come in last--he promises.  He lies.
• After the water stop you jog, mostly because you don't want everyone to think you are a loser.  A little 8-year-old girl who is working the water stop is running behind you, you hear her slow down and you suspect it's because she senses that you will dissolve into tears if she passes you.
• When you turn the corner on the way back you see him.  No, not the hot guy from the kayak (no, you pretty much never want to see him again).  No, it's your darling husband running with your 2 little girls in the double jogging stroller.  He's here to see you through.  To help you finish.  Now you really do dissolve to tears.
• When you are 10 feet from the finish line your 3-year-old daughter jumps out of the stroller and finishes the race with you (you are somewhat bothered by the fact that she is still in her pajamas and is not wearing any shoes, but remember that your husband is pretty much a candidate for 'husband of the year' after the stroller incident, so you let it slide). 
• They announce you as the 'last one'--everyone claps, you smile, you are mortified inside. 
• But no one can take it away...you FINISHED a triathlon!
• Later you commiserate with friends...'I'm the real loser-I was on the couch with a hangover' says one, others point out your incredible weight loss & how far you had to come just to get to this point...it's still hard to know you were last.  To not get any clams at the clam bake because they were all gone.  But I do have the picture of me after the race...and I have my memories...and I have information--what it's like, what I need to train on...and I have A LOT of room for improvement!

Am I Good Enough???

So I was trying out my wetsuit at the gym yesterday when a middle-aged Russian lady sat down next to me in the locker room. 

'Whadt is dhis?' she says to me in an accent.

'Oh, it's a wetsuit, I'm doing a triathlon this weekend and I thought I better try it out since I've never swam in one before' I say.

[With huge eyes & a laugh} 'Um, maybe youh losse some wheighht'? 

[In a happy voice, with dignity] 'Oh, yes, I've actually lost almost 100 lbs & am working on losing more, I have been training for this for awhile' I say.

With surprised indignation and a questioning look she begins quizzing me on my diet (satisfied once I detail my 6 weekly, 90 minute+ workouts), and I kid you not everything I say she say, 'dhis not good'.  I tell her I eat very little, if any red meat and instead seek other forms of protein, when I tell her I eat a lot of nuts & seeds she tis, tisses me and says, 'too much fat'...I kindly point out that I know a serving of almonds is 18 almonds, has 160 calories and has fat, but it's the type of fat I seek in my diet (MUFA!). 

She asks if I am alone or cook for others--looking surprised when I tell her I have a husand and children.  'Ahnd do they eaht lihke youh?'....'Of course,' I tell her, 'I even have them making their own healthy pizzas on pita bread'.

'Phizza! No, no, no, no, no--dis very bhad!'  She's obviously not getting that the pizzas we makes are less than 400 calories, loaded with nutrients, veggies and healthier than 90% of the food out there, plus trick everyone into thinking they are eating something decadent.

When the exchange is over I feel deflated.  I never lost my cool, but it made me think, am I a joke?  Do most people look at me and make assumptions about me?  Am I not good enough???? 

Of course I am good enough!  This is an old belief!  What, should I lay around and give up and say, 'fuck it' (sorry mom) because one Russian lady, who knows nothing about me and chose not to listen to my story, who discounts losing all this weight, who begrudges me because I don't weight 140 lbs & have a perfectly sculpted body?!  Hell no!

It's an oldie  but goodie, this belief that 'we're not not enough/I'm not enough'....but the thing is, it only has power if you let it.  I am good enough.  YOU are good enough.  I will attract people to me that believe this and stop noticing people who don't believe this.  You will too! 

I have a favorite line in this Max Lucado book, 'You are Special'...it goes something like this, 'what they think doesn't matter...it only matters if you let it.  Why should YOU care what THEY think, the stickers only stick if you let them...the more you trust MY (God's) love, the more THEIR stickers (judgements) don't matter....'

So trust God, yourself, your higher self, your higher power....whatever it is that you believe and know you are precious and important and we need you...and whatever road you are on to be happier and healthier is exactly where you are suppose to be!

Have a great day (I know I will...it's my birthday)!

Wetsuit drama...

So let me tell you... Trying on a wetsuit may be the most humiliating experience EVER! Especially when you need help just getting it up over your knees...

The second most embarrassing thing about wetsuits: walking into your gym's pool looking like a stuffed sausage (ever hear the expression 'trying to shove 10lbs. of shit into a 5 lb. bag'). The looks of the soccer moms were priceless, if not disconcerting. But I survived with my head held high!

Now I'm off to exchange said wetsuit for another model... Because the third most embarrassing wetsuit experience is getting out of the pool after a 1/2 mile swim & having a 1/2 gallon of water pour out of each leg of the suit!

I will survive & thrive at my first triathlon this weekend! Wetsuit & all.

Anatomy of a Breakdown

So, I'm back from our vacation.  I have to say, I think I've learned a bit about myself over the past few days.  I went into my Easter trip to my mother-in-law's larger than life (eek, that pun WASN'T intended!), I had it all figured out--I had MASTERED my eating/diet!  Boy, just when you get a little cocky that's when life kicks you in the ass.  And can I say one thing...'ouch'.

Prior to our trip I had adopted a new way of eating & frankly I was kicking butt and taking names.  I dropped 14 lbs in 2 weeks!  I realized a lot of this was detoxing my body and water weight, but I did take it off and keep it off, my clothes felt looser, I even wore a couple pairs of underwear that normally rode too low on my tummy and 'rolled' over (well, actually, under) my infamous low-belly overhang.

So, I'm going gangbusters, so what happens?  A total breakdown of the mind-meets-food-meets-mouth.  Yes folks, I went off the plan.  Yep.  Did it feel good?  Hell no!  Every bite I was taking I was screaming at myself, crying internally, yet somehow did not stop.  I even snuck into the bathroom with my journal and tried to figure out what the hell I was doing.  It didn't work, everyone thought I was sick and then people needed the bathroom and so I exited and had yet another slice of ham.

Not that I believe everyone must eat only a prescribed number of calories every single day of their life.  But I guess my frustration stemmed from having made a 32 day commitment and then breaking it.  I learned that I still have some issues around food.  I eat for emotional reasons, and what's great is that I'm doing a bit of work right now to figure out exactly what those emotions are and how I can handle them differently (in the past I would say to myself, well at least I eat and don't starve myself, cut myself, smoke pot, am a nymphomaniac--I call this the Jerry Springer phenomenon:  we compare ourselves to the least common denominator in humanity, instead of striving to live up to the best role models). 

So I know I eat for emotional reasons.  I know I wasn't hungry.  I also learned that I need structure.  Some people can 'wing it'.  I hate those people.  I am not a 'winger'--first off I don't have long blond hair and a twin and a famously deceased dad (sorry, bad 80's rocker joke).  Seriously though, structure is what I need, at least right now.  A plan.  A way to quantify the stuff I'm putting in my body.  This is why they recommend you 'write it down'--because most of us must need this--quantification!  

Now my only saving grace in all of this is that I became violently ill with a stomach virus (imagine that?!).  So, I actually did not gain (or lose) a pound in my week and a half 'off program'.  I would not recommend this method.  It is not fun to be as sick as I was, it really sucks when you are so sick you don't want to read, check e-mail or even watch TV.  If you can't even watch TV or a movie you have become a true slug!

I am back to being cognizant of my food choices....planning....journaling....choosing better foods for each meal.  I feel more in control and that's good.  AND I found out I'm going to be featured in Health magazine and have my picture taken (yikes!) so I have some extra motivation for staying in control and staying focused.  Wish me luck!

MY WEIGHT-LOSS UPDATE

After a 4 lb. weight loss last week, I lost zero lbs. this week. 

Based on my workout effort and food consumption I expected to lose 2 lbs., but didn't.  But I'm going to stay the course, it should come off this week.  I've really ramped up the exercise and am feeling stronger and stronger everyday, not to mention I'm sore!

One of the things I'm finding inspiration in right now is a sort of 'epiphany' I had while watching The Biggest Loser 2 weeks ago...It was the 'make-over show' and the contestants look amazing, especially considering where they started.  The thing that was obvious was that they were only 1/2 way done (well, maybe 2/3 or 3/4).  And I realized that's where I am.  I have had an incredible weight loss and a lot to be proud of.  But mine is an unfinished journey.  I cannot continue to just celebrate where I am, but must continue pushing forward to get to my goal.  And I will!

Happy & Healthy Monday to all of you!  Get out and get moving!