Lost 100

Little Epiphanies: What if we viewed weight like a garden?

I was talking with my friend Rita the other day, Rita is a spiritual life coach who rocks, and I said to her: 'I have no idea what skinny, rich women do all day or what they think about'. And in a very real way I was being serious. I put on a few pounds since my half marathon, and while I haven't had to buy new clothes things are tight & I sometimes feel obsessed about weight gain/ not losing/ cheating. What I would give to not feel consumed by the scale...

Then it hit me. Smack in the middle of my not-so-sculpted tummy. What if we treated weight (and for that matter money too) a little like we do our garden. I like my hydrangeas- they are purple and blue and pink and just luscious: I don't spend a lot of time thinking about them- they are just there. They are part of my life, part of my world, but my whole world does not revolve around them. I trust they will look beautiful. Sometimes I do some weeding, sometimes I say: 'oops- weeds, need to pay a bit more attention!'. But most of the time they aren't on the radar and my mind is free. What if we needed to think LESS about it, instead of more? What if our choices were based in self love and because they support us living in the way we want, and not because if we choose the opposite we are afraid of the consequence... What if?  I like that world...

Am I Good Enough???

So I was trying out my wetsuit at the gym yesterday when a middle-aged Russian lady sat down next to me in the locker room. 

'Whadt is dhis?' she says to me in an accent.

'Oh, it's a wetsuit, I'm doing a triathlon this weekend and I thought I better try it out since I've never swam in one before' I say.

[With huge eyes & a laugh} 'Um, maybe youh losse some wheighht'? 

[In a happy voice, with dignity] 'Oh, yes, I've actually lost almost 100 lbs & am working on losing more, I have been training for this for awhile' I say.

With surprised indignation and a questioning look she begins quizzing me on my diet (satisfied once I detail my 6 weekly, 90 minute+ workouts), and I kid you not everything I say she say, 'dhis not good'.  I tell her I eat very little, if any red meat and instead seek other forms of protein, when I tell her I eat a lot of nuts & seeds she tis, tisses me and says, 'too much fat'...I kindly point out that I know a serving of almonds is 18 almonds, has 160 calories and has fat, but it's the type of fat I seek in my diet (MUFA!). 

She asks if I am alone or cook for others--looking surprised when I tell her I have a husand and children.  'Ahnd do they eaht lihke youh?'....'Of course,' I tell her, 'I even have them making their own healthy pizzas on pita bread'.

'Phizza! No, no, no, no, no--dis very bhad!'  She's obviously not getting that the pizzas we makes are less than 400 calories, loaded with nutrients, veggies and healthier than 90% of the food out there, plus trick everyone into thinking they are eating something decadent.

When the exchange is over I feel deflated.  I never lost my cool, but it made me think, am I a joke?  Do most people look at me and make assumptions about me?  Am I not good enough???? 

Of course I am good enough!  This is an old belief!  What, should I lay around and give up and say, 'fuck it' (sorry mom) because one Russian lady, who knows nothing about me and chose not to listen to my story, who discounts losing all this weight, who begrudges me because I don't weight 140 lbs & have a perfectly sculpted body?!  Hell no!

It's an oldie  but goodie, this belief that 'we're not not enough/I'm not enough'....but the thing is, it only has power if you let it.  I am good enough.  YOU are good enough.  I will attract people to me that believe this and stop noticing people who don't believe this.  You will too! 

I have a favorite line in this Max Lucado book, 'You are Special'...it goes something like this, 'what they think doesn't matter...it only matters if you let it.  Why should YOU care what THEY think, the stickers only stick if you let them...the more you trust MY (God's) love, the more THEIR stickers (judgements) don't matter....'

So trust God, yourself, your higher self, your higher power....whatever it is that you believe and know you are precious and important and we need you...and whatever road you are on to be happier and healthier is exactly where you are suppose to be!

Have a great day (I know I will...it's my birthday)!

MANHATTAN'S DIRTY little SECRET

I've lost a lot of weight.  We're talking size 24/26 to a size 14!  At 5'10" after having 2 babies in 14 months (did I mention both were emergency c-sections) that's not too shabby.  So here I am 6 months post-partum and celebrating that I no longer am a slave to whatever Lane Bryant constitutes as "high fashion". 

I've saved some money and am ready to splurge on something fabulous.  I'm walking, head held high, full of confidence into a chic shop in Manhattan's Time Warner Center.  I check out some cute tops, casually look at prices, find a couple things I would love to try on.  PROBLEM.  I can't seem to find any XL.  Ok, let's switch gears, how about size 14.  Um, no.  Ok, let's expand the search--nadda.  Nothing in the store is over a size 10--a size TEN!  What?! 

Okay, maybe it's a fluke, I try another store, then another, I even go to J Crew--they carry size 12--wow!  But not 14, boo.  One last store, same thing...I look around and approach the size-2 19-year-old saleswoman who's been making eyes with my 2 babies in their funky double-stroller (It's called a Phil & Ted's E-3 sport double).  I sheepishly ask, and ever-so-sweetly, with batting eye lashes, she gives me the closed-lip, head to one side feigned smile..."oh no, none of our Manhattan stores carry a size 14" and then says "bye-bye" to my girls and turns on a cheap heal after dropping Manhattan's Dirty little Secret ever so sweetly on me. 

So--I ask, when did a size 14 get ostracized from misses fashion & what are your thoughts?

NIA VARDALOS: 'WHAT'S THE BIG FAT DEAL' Finally a Celeb Who Gets Real About Body Image!

Here's a blog post Nia Vardalos wrote for AC360 on CNN.  It is perhaps one of the best things I've ever read about body image and health.  I think I'm in love with Nia Vardalos!  She rocks--I love her confidence in herself, her sense of humor and that she doesn't think it's a big deal that she lost weight.  People magazine bikini shoot--no!  It was about her health, not how she felt in her skin.  I suspect Ms. Vardalos felt just as sexy before as she does now.  Her view of her body before is refeshing and sadly unexpected in a world where the Teenage Witch uses cruel terms to describe her post-partum fuller figure and a Ghost Whisperer yells and screams about how dare the media criticize her size 2 figure, only to drop 20 lbs and pay for do a major publicity tour about her 'new fabulous figure' and how much better she feels about her body.  Nia Vardalos never apologized for her body before and she isn't trashing it now~and to me that makes her a hero of sorts!  Way to go girlfriend~if I'm ever lucky enough to meet you I'm totally buying you a diet coke drink!!!

Editor’s Note: Nia Vardalos is the star and writer of the 2002 smash hit, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” Her new film, “My Life in Ruins,” is in theaters now.

Actress Nia Vardalos arrives at the premiere of 'My Life in Ruins' on May 29, 2009 in Los Angeles, California.

Nia Vardalos
Actress/Writer/Director

It’s just weight. Just 40 pounds of fat now gone from my body, but wow, it’s pretty much all I get asked about. In the last year, I got to star in a movie, wrote and directed my next one, and adopted a three year old from American Foster Care. But guess what I’m asked…how did I lose the weight?

I am embarrassed to be in the position of answering questions about my body again. On the publicity tour of ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ I was asked over and over again, if, as the writer, I felt it was a fair depiction of real life to have someone of my er, below average looks, hook up with hottie John Corbett.

It’s been years, and I have sat through many a movie like Sideways, where nobody blinks an eye when Paul Giamatti gets together with gorgeous Virginia Madsen. And, then ‘Knocked Up’….well, the visual of Seth Rogan on top of Katherine Heigl made me put the popcorn down and reach for my purse. Not because I was grossed out but because I knew the film was about to stop and Ashton Kutcher would now jump out and go “aha, you’ve been punked, that would never happen.” I waited. But no Ashton. The film went on. And many a reviewer, who probably look like sweet Seth (yes even the women) gave it a thumbs up.

Yes, there’s a double standard for women. Whatever. Yawn, we all know it, perpetuate it – we make it worse every time we buy a magazine showing “Stars with Cellulite.” And women, we do buy those magazines. Yes, we do. No, not just at the airport – you have a subscription, admit it. So do I.

So, it’s our fault. Let’s accept it and move on. Socially, the issue of men’s weight is simply not a big deal. Let’s face it: Russell Crowe is fat and no one ever talks about it. Alec Baldwin just orders his suits a size bigger and we continue to swoon.

So, what exactly is up with my weight loss? I get hit with this awkward question daily and have answered it in press interviews, at the grocery store, at the newspaper stand. Why? Because I see their anxious, open faces needing the secret, the new pill, the cure, anything. Just please share the secret. So I hesitantly answer and am always met with the same response: the glaze-eye slack-jawed face.

Because they don’t want to hear the truth: I had a blood sugar problem so my Doctor ordered me to lose weight, it was really hard but I did it through diet, exercise and it took a year.

This is when the boredom sets in on the querying person. I might as well just shove an Ambien up their nostril. The gleam in their eye fades and they get sleepy.

No one wants to hear the facts about weight loss. It’s simple. Take that bag of Doritos and throw it as far as you can. Now chase after it. Pick it up, do it again.

Or don’t. You don’t have to lose weight, unless like me, it becomes an issue of health. I thought I was attractive when I shot ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding.’ Studio executives and movie reviewers let me know I had a confidence in my looks that was not shared by them. In other words: they labeled me with words like, overweight, unattractive, unappealing. Hey, just say fat. I love the word fat. I used it in the title. It’s actually not a naughty word. We give it a power it actually doesn’t have. So, you’re fat. Big deal.

If now, I have a sudden validity because I look different on the red carpet, check out my Before pics on my Twitter. (@NiaVardalos) I am showing what happens before Team Miracle comes over in the Hazmat suits and works on me for a few hours. Anyone can look like they make me look. That’s why most malls offer a Glamour Shots booth.

I am just telling you the truth.

Here’s another fact: A studio executive recently asked me to change a male lead in a script to female because “women don’t go to movies.” He went on to explain some studios were no longer making female-lead movies because women don’t go to them.

Wow. I pointed out ‘Sex And The City,’ ‘Mamma Mia,’ and  ‘Obsessed,’ and he called them “flukes.”

He shrugged and explained he was just telling me the truth.

I wonder, is this the truth? Do we support female films? My film is out now and Sandra Bullock’s film ‘The Proposal’ opens soon. (Gasp, is she talking about a rival studio’s movie?) Yeah, I am. See it. See us both (just see us first, we’re low budget.)

So, I ask, can we tell that studio executive the truth? That women do go to the movies. Can we speak up with our wallets? Or did you doze off?

Nia Vardalos blogs for CNN

CNN'S FIT NATION SUMMIT: SEE THE ENTIRE VIDEO HERE

Here is the complete video of the CNN Fit Nation Summit I had the distinct pleasure to attend 2 weeks ago today. It was awesome! The video is long (31 minutes), but I thought you may want to see it...so here it is!

PUSHING THE WEIGHT I'VE LOST

So, as you know, I've been running with my hubby...we started running 2 minutes, walking 2 minutes, now we are up to 10-1-10-1-10!  Our neighborhood is rather hilly & several spots on our route are a doosey.

Most of the time we try to run when we have a sitter or when my brother is here, but more and more we have had to run with the kids (I received a double jogging stroller for my birthday a couple of months ago--it has a rain cover and everything so really I'm out of excuses...that's a scary feeling!).

Running with the kids in a jogging stroller is difficult, I did the math, and between the weight of the stroller and the weight of 2 kids I'm essentially pushing the weight I've lost.

It's funny, as much as I'm pretty much hating every step as we go up the big hills I always feel like it's 'poetic justice'/my cross to bear/ a reminder to never go back.

You see, even when I'm pushing the weight I've lost, it's still on wheels, having that weight on my body would be infinitely more difficult. And that leads me to the reminder that as I lose more of the excess weight I still carry...then running faster, running longer will become increasingly easier. Hey, if I'm holding my own with the pack now, what will it be like when I'm 40-50 pounds lighter?!

And as much as I curse everything I can think of as I run up those hills will the jogging stroller I can't help but think that I'm setting a good example to my daughters. When 2-year-old Sarah says, 'run faster mommy' OR 'why did you stop mommy' it's like having my own little traveling cheering section. Beyond that, when I can show the girls that mommy is happy with what her body can do, then I send the message that being healthy is about the ability to fully enjoy all aspects of life, not just fitting into a certain size.

I think of that every time my husband tells me I'm beautiful in front of my girls...I'm not a size 6, but I can run several miles, and I am stronger than and workout harder than most size 4's at the the gym, I'm healthy & have a body that allows me to do pretty much any endeavor I want & their daddy thinks I'm 'hot stuff'--maybe, just maybe my daughters won't have the body image issues so many of us have been plagued with!

But just for good measure I'm going to keep 'pushing the weight I've lost' lest I never forget the important things... We use the Chariot Cougar double jogger/converts to a bike trailer too (it's pictured above, we bought ours through REI, the outdoor/adventure company). I have found the BOB (pictured below) to be the highest ranking jogging stroller on the market...friends who have it can't say enough good stuff about it!

CHERYL BURKE & AMERICA'S OXYMORONIC OBSESSION WITH PERFECT BODIES/FLAWLESS FIGURES...

I must say, I am getting more and more frustrated with this obsession American's have with body image. I've been researching a bit lately and keep finding over and over again cruel comments made about people with perfectly healthy/thin bodies.

And to be perfectly honest I even hear it from perfectly nice people I know. Case & point: I overheard someone a couple weeks ago talking about one of their favorite shows, Dancing With the Stars, she discussed people's skill level, partners, etc. and then she said something that intrigued me, she said that Cheryl Burke (the curvy 2-time professional champ) had gotten really heavy. Heavy is the word she used. Now, I don't regularly watch the show, so of course I tuned in to see how a woman who a few months ago had a body fat percentage (in my estimation) of less than 10% could now be heavy. What did I find?

Cheryl Burke was wearing a very skimpy dress, sporting flat abs and a great bod! Now, was her back as chiseled as it was 3 seasons ago (when she had perhaps the most perfect back ever)? No. Was it still a very attractive and thin back? Yes. Come on people. Come on...what were you thinking?! Heavy? Really? Ah, no. Here's a video clip from her recent appearance on the Ellen show...you be the judge.

You see, it's not just fashion mags, and has-been models (ie. Janice Dickinson) who tell women they aren't good enough. It's not just the men's magazines and the 19 year olds with eating disorders. It's our everyday people, our sisters, our moms, our friends. Why? It simply doesn't makes sense...why do we hold women to standards that can be described as nothing less than sexist, demeaning and eating-disorder-promoting???

Choose your words carefully. Little girls are listening and when they hear us call someone like Cheryl Burke heavy it only serves to tell them something is innately wrong with Cheryl and by extension the 99.5% of women whose bodies are far less as perfect as Cheryl's!

STRUGGLING WITH BALANCE (NOT PHYSICAL BALANCE...LIFE BALANCE)

I don't know about you...but I seem to struggle with balance...not riding a bike or standing on a rock like the yoga guru's kind of balance...no, good ol' fashion how do I keep all the balls in the air balance.

I was so frustrated a few months ago, that I sought professional help. No, I didn't go to a psychologist, or social worker, or religious guru...I went to the professionals--other mommies. I am lucky enough to be part of a women's group, Mothers & More, and we happen to be the largest group in the country. So, I swallowed my pride, and wrote a long, rambling e-mail to 500 of my 'closest friends' and begged for help. I figured between them someone had a magic potion. Not so much. But what I found is that I wasn't alone. I heard personally from over 20 moms with practical suggestion...but what I heard the most was, 'THANK YOU--you said how I feel everyday'.

What I found from this very small sampling is that it didn't matter if you had one kid or seven, if you were a stay-at-home mom, a work-at-home mom, a work-out-of-home mom; or if you had a nanny or an au pair, or a mom/mother-in-law/ aunt who helps, or a super duper hubby--every woman felt there were too many things to do each day. Every woman cut corners. Every woman felt she failed in something or failed someone each day.

I sometimes feel like I fail myself. Do you? I give to my kids, to my house, to my hubby, to my dog, to my friends, my manicurist, my garbage man--when do I give to me? When I do give to me, I feel guilty or I use my time poorly. Am I just a product of my Catholic 'guilt-ridden' upbringing? I suspect not--many women feel guilty. I find I feel most guilty when I do all kinds of things and accomplish nothing. You know, half-assing 27 things and none are really finished. This is most evident when I feel I shortchange my kids. Not that I ever want to, but when I accomplish a lot and they have sort of, 'fended for themselves' with Sesame Street or their toy farm it seems like a fair trade. When all I can say is I checked my e-mail, CNN.com, and opened the mail--then I feel pretty shitty.

Today I actually feel like I have given fully to my children. We have had a wonderful day. I feel good about myself...except I haven't exercised yet....ARGH--the balance thing...

YES! YES! YES! YES! I FIT INTO THE ROLLER COASTER AGAIN!

Obesity has many, many detrimental side effects: increased risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, joint problems, knee problems, foot problems, problems walking, heartburn, high cholesterol, back problems, increased risk for certain cancers, fertility problems--but none can take the wind out of your sails as much as not fitting into a roller coaster.

For a couple of years back there I told myself that the roller coasters I was trying to ride were more narrow than other roller coasters. And then I got to the point where I could not ride some roller coasters because I simply didn't fit in the seat, or the bar didn't go down far enough, or the belt needed an extender. Ugh.

So it was with mild trepidation that I waited in line for the new "Ravine Flyer II" at Waldameer Park & Water World in Erie, PA (incidentally the same park I worked out in my late teens and where I met hubby--he ran the "Wacky Shack"--you can't make this stuff up folks!). Would I fit in the seat? Would the belt latch easily? Would people stare? Would the bar go down or would the worker try to be polite while they pushed with all their might to close it?

I stepped into the car, easily slid into the seat, fastened the belt, pulled it taunt (18 extra inches of belt folks--a HUGE difference from the "Son of Beast" ride in Kings Island a few years back!), waited patiently for the attendant to release the lap bar to lock us in--YES-YES-YES-YES (no, I'm not sitting next to Meg Ryan) I did it, the bar goes down effortlessly, 1st click, 2nd click, 3rd click--I made it 3 clicks! We Are the Champions begins playing in my head and the next thing I know I'm deliriously happy, screaming as I go down the hill and up the next!

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR ACTIVITY LEVEL AND STAY MOTIVATED

Recently a fellow blogger on Elastic Waist (featured on Yahoo's SHINE) posed a question as to how to increase her activity level...this got me thinking, what would I recommend? So here are some ideas:

There are a number of things I do or recommend to try to increase activity:

1st--I MUST get a break from my kids everyday--so it's perfect that there is free daycare at the YMCA. If I go to the Y, I'm going to exercise--treadmill, the new AMT machine, bike, eliptical.

2nd--If I worry I'm not going to work hard enough I do a couple of things:
a. I set a goal (ie. I am going to get my heartrate to 160 and keep it there for a minimum of 5 minutes...or I want to keep my heartrate at 140 for 25 minutes).
b. I put on my ipod and go with a "go to" song--you know one of those songs that you can't go wrong with (Kanye West's "Stronger"--Melissa Etheridge "I Run for Life"--Beyonce "Crazy in Love"--Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get it Started in Here").

3rd--Get a buddy. Meet for a long walk. Go for a hike. Partner up at the gym. Tell your partner you want them to push you and challenge you. Try to find someone in slightly better shape than you.

4th--Hire a trainer. If they can't motivate you to work hard, they certainly can yell at you! Hey--we're all motivated somehow and it's their job to figure it out!

5th--If you are too embarrassed to be seen at a gym or outside (and even if you are 500 lbs you should NOT be) try a video or better yet, the free workouts the cable channel offers.

6th--If you have kids--put them in a stroller (and get a GOOD stroller, it may cost a few hundred but is totally worth it...our current stroller is the Phil & Ted's E3 Sport) and walk a few miles or go to the zoo or the park or anywhere where you can get some mileage in.

7th--Get a GOOD pair of workout shoes (do not pay attention to style--but rather fit)...I blogged about this a few weeks ago.

8th--Take a class at the gym--the "peer pressure" of having the other people in the class will help to keep you from quitting.

9th--Take up a fun activity with a group: join a softball, volleyball, soccer, basketball, hockey, or other team.

10th--If you have a little bit of extra money try hiring a personal trainer, sometimes they're cheaper than you think, even if you only meet 2 times and get some ideas of workouts that will work for you I think it's worth it!

Good luck!

What are some other ideas on how you and I can get and stay motivated about being active???

To see some links to my favorite workout products continue reading....